Human connection is essential to our growth as humans. Deciding who is worth your energy as you grow is also important. Surrounding ourselves with people who bring value and happiness to our lives is something I think we all strive for. The type of people who bring out the best in us. The ones who motivate us and cheer us on in life. The ones who make us feel important. These are the types of people that when you come across them, you hold them closest to your heart.
Not every person you meet though will make you feel this way. Not everyone is going to be your friend and not everyone will have the same values or outlook as you. When deciding who is worth your energy, it’s important to make sure that you’re surrounding yourself and investing your energy into people who make you feel loved, supported and appreciated.
If you currently have relationships with people who don’t make you feel this way, it might be time to re-evaluate your relationship with them and decide how much energy you should really be investing.
Questions to ask yourself when deciding who is worth your energy:
Do they make time for you?
A true friend will reach out. Maybe they won’t reach out every day but they will wonder and truly care about how you’re doing on a regular basis and find time in their busy schedule to contact you. Yes, life gets hectic. And sometimes at the end of a crazy day, we don’t always have the energy to pick up the phone and have an hour long chat with a best bud. But sometimes all it takes is a little acknowledgment from the other person that makes all the difference. If a friend can find time to post on social media, they can find time to acknowledge that text you sent them asking how they’ve been. If this behavior is consistent by them, don’t allow yourself to be the only one putting in the effort.
Do they follow through with plans?
As I said, life can get hectic. Making plans with friends sometimes leads to rain-checks needing to be made, and that’s okay. What’s not necessarily okay is when you feel they’re being handed out like candy and you’re constantly being cancelled on at the last minute. First of all, cancelled plans after built up anticipation to go and do those plans, sucks. When it happens continuously over the span of a short amount of time, it can be very disappointing. If you see a pattern in this type of behavior, it’s important to address it with said friend and hope for a better outcome the next time plans are made. Someone who wants the plans to follow through will make sure they do.
Do they acknowledge your feelings and help fix the situation?
It’s important to be open with someone you care about when you feel unhappy by something they have a part in. When you’re open and honest about your feelings towards people and situations, it gives them the opportunity to work with you in bettering that situation. You can’t be the only one trying to fix the problem, it doesn’t work like that. So, if you feel you’ve done your part in opening up and sharing your feelings, but you’re still not being heard, you need to decide just how much energy you can keep putting into that relationship. One-sided relationships are not fun, and you deserve to be treated with the same amount of respect and shown the same amount of effort as you give out.
Do they bring value and support to your life?
They say it’s in your darkest times when you realize who’s really there for you. A true friend will be there when they know you’re down. They will put in the effort and work with you to bring you back up. They won’t just kick you to the side until you decide to feel better. That’s not friendship. They won’t make you feel bad for just needing some time for you to get better. They will give you that time and be right there for you when you’re ready. The same works for when you’re succeeding. A true friend will be there to cheer you on. They won’t make you feel bad for pushing for your dreams. Don’t save space in your life for selfish and unsupportive people.
When you’re investing a great amount of energy, time and love into your relationships, make sure that the same is being reciprocated back to you. You deserve true relationships. The ones that make you feel appreciated and supported. The ones that bring you an abundance of bliss. Invest your energy into the right people.
Never feel guilty for cutting someone off when they handed you the scissors. – Trent Shelton